A coach can fail to make the team experience about the kids, so can the parents. Parents have to trust the coach and the coach must be trustworthy.
Disclaimer: I have failed and succeeded in my career in this regards. Please do not assume I have followed this successfully each and every season. I don't think any high school coach has:)
A Question For Parents
Ask yourself (parent) this question, "Is it fair to expect my son or daughter to be better than I was?"
A Question For Parents To Ask Their Child
"What are your expectations for this season?"
"What do you see your role being on this team?"
* If your child's answers are different than how you would have answered those questions, then you (the parent) have false expectations.
Parents Who Think They Have a College Superstar In The House
Only 2% of high school student athletes receive scholarship aid to play a sport in college. Is your future college superstar working like the top 2%?
Don't label your child with a level-of-play (D1, D2, etc.) when you don't have the expertise to do so.
Your child is not an asset class in your investment portfolio. His or her return on investment (ROI) will be determined once they are a husband or wife, a father or mother, and have worked to establish themselves in a career - not when they haven't even graduated high school.
A common mistake parents make is seeing their child perform well, investing more into their development, thus expecting more (Positive Performance + Increased Investment = Greater Expectations). It's fine to hold your child to a high standard, but more time and money invested only guarantees more time and money spent.
Your Child Doesn't Need You To Coach Them
When they don't play well
When they don't play at all
While in a shooting slump
After they foul out
When they screw up
While they're injured
After the game
Parents and Playing Time
If you don't occupy a locker, then you can't compete or lobby for playing time. How seriously would you listen to your son's advice or critiques regarding a promotion opportunity at your work?
Advice for Coaches from Dr. Bhrett McCabe, from The Daily Coach.
I think a big mistake coaches make is they don’t clarify the role for a player. The real thing is coaches are afraid they’re going to lose a player by telling him the truth. So, we’re not going to tell them something, we’re going to create ambiguity and get them frustrated? You’re guaranteed to lose them, 100 percent.
I think the above quote is also applicable for coaches in setting clear and concise expectations with parents. Don't make the mistake of telling parents what they want to hear. It is a rare occasion that the parent will tell the coach what they want to hear. Courageous conversations create an atmosphere of FAIR BUT NOT EQUAL.
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